"it amazes me how a kid could fully understand the concept of people going away, and not be impatient in seeing them again. while some people complain about so many things when they should be the one who's composed and more understanding of the situation"
that's what i told my friend last night.
its not that i dont miss my family, i do miss them. but what i miss more is the time when we're all here, at home, in the same country. Now I have 1 sister left here, my 2nd sister and who's busy working but still tries to spend time with us(me and the kids, and my lola and aunt), and AJ (my eldest sister's son).
I'm just not used to taking control over things. Or sure, Im good with handling responsibilities, but not like this! One of the things na kailangan kong gawin ngayon is patulugin si AJ. Its really not as easy as it sounds/looks. ON a weekend, madali lang yun. Pero what if I have to study for a major test, or if I need to go out? It only means that I won't go to my night gimik, and Im gonna have to study late at night after AJ's asleep. I like having AJ around, and CJ(my 3-yr girl cousin), but sometimes, I just want people to see that "HEY, IM BUSY WITH SOMETHING, I NEED SOME HELP?!". And being the big complainer that I am, I cant help but say that Im not getting all the help I want.
There I go again. Being a selfish and self-centered one! Its just, I've been used to having my mom or other sisters around to discipline AJ, take care of the groceries or other house stuff that I can have my own plans, etc. Now, I just can't have that. Well, im being overdramatic. I can go out and stuff, but then, I have to think of so many other things first before I decide on a plan.
To make things short, I DON'T WANT TO GROW UP YET. But I guess, I'm gonna have to.
I just hope, someone would be willing to help me by trying to make me smile/laugh or to simply make my day. But I guess, the people we want for that job, aren't always the most willing and able for the job. Sometimes, those people come too late, when you've already fallen apart.
I just hope he comes before I become my old cynical and depressed self again.
